Day 6: Faith.
Once your self esteem has been worn down then it becomes harder and harder for you to love yourself. Where once you respected yourself for your intelligent decisions, or for making a decision to enter a relationship in the first place after others has failed miserably, a repeat performance only brings more question and doubt to the table.
When you originally entered this relationship what you were seeking is a person that would finally love and care about you for you: someone you could trust and who truly valued you (Literally you are so hungry for that kind of attention you are easy prey).
For me anytime I asked my significant other what he wanted or to share his opinion on a mutually beneficial decision, what I got was: “it’s whatever you think,” or “I know your will make the best decision for both of us.” I felt very valued and appreciated.
At first I found this kind of sweet and thought he was entrusting me with making decisions for both of us, but what he was really doing was laying a baseline of information for himself he could pull from later, and laying a trap for me to feel safe and secure in my own judgement. Like any predator he was also laying the groundwork for trust. It is a trust that runs deep into your own psyche. It is hard to explain but if you have ever suffered emotional abuse you understand when I tell you it is like they can see right inside your thoughts without being psychic. They can then undermine any faith you had in yourself to make any decisions. Where once you thought you were an awesome decision maker for the greater good, you are now nothing more than a miserable failure who can not do anything right. Talk about a double take whammie!
When the transition began it went from “it’s whatever you think,” followed by kudo’s and praise to “that has got to be the stupidest thing,” or worse silence. And it is not just the silence that shuts you out, but the kind that isolates. It is also the kind that carries an anger that is so thick you can cut it with a knife. It fills the entire room. For those of us that are highly sensitive people – it is a devastating blow.
The idea here is for you to give up the right for you to freely express yourself, move about freely and make decisions. You see being a good decision maker is a threat to the abuser because it means you have power over yourself and your own thoughts.
The idea is that you are to be controlled. You are to be submissive to the point of forgiving his or her bad behavior. That is right. You heard (rather read) me. You are suppose to now rationalize that it is okay for him or her to treat you this way. When you give up your right to express yourself – including saying no – you have given up your rights to be a person a Divine loved aspect of God. THAT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE! And that is why you feel so confused and frightened inside because your gut is telling you that there is something not right here. LISTEN TO YOU! Have faith that some part of you knows that this is wrong and is crying out for freedom from this situation.
Get out before it gets worse. That is where it is headed, and if by reading this it takes you seconds to run out the door, or days, it is better than the years it took me. And trust me you may think you’re strong enough to live through it, but modern science and modern medicine are coming to discover that disease is linked to human emotion. I have worked with an number of clients who has been diagnosed with cancer, irritable bowel syndrome, heart issues, and depression that all were in emotionally abusive relationships. We worked together to clear the energy from their spirit bodies, and they worked with their healthcare providers to take care of the rest.
Remember that everything is energy and energy can be shifted at the spirit level consciousness and assist you in decreasing the amount of time it takes to work through and shed emotional abuse energy. One of the additional tools that I use is called Spiritual Response Therapy. It is a spiritual tool designed to connect with energy, and shift it with expedience. It can help each person identify and release the old energy that has been holding you back or creating a stagnant situation.
If you have been struggling with connecting with SPIRIT / God or are feeling blocked in your ability to leave an emotionally abusive relationship here is the link to my on line appointment book https://toolsofenergy.appointy.com/.
We will work together to discover your blocks, clear the energy around them, and replace them with new energy and new understanding.
What do you mean energy? And what does it mean to clear and replace energy? Here is a way to think about it. If your shoulders are stiff from stress and you seek out a massage to release the tension – what happens? Ideally the massage therapist releases the stress, and you gain the lasting benefit. What really happens? The reason we created the stress in the first place is not addressed and we end up recreating it. We again experience the stiff shoulders and seek out the massage therapist. By clearing the energy and educating the conscious mind you can experience an energetic shift and create new experiences.
To read yesterdays post click here. To Start with Day One Click here.
It is time for us to rise out of the darkness and into the light. This is my journey. May it bring you peace, and hope on your own journey, and as always make wise and safe choices.
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