Day 2: Awareness.
The first step on any path is awareness, so that is where I will begin. As I became aware that I was suffering from emotional abuse it became apparent that there were two distinctly different kinds. One, outright verbal and emotional abuse: usually delivered in a full on frontal attack. Two, subtle abuse: I liken it to a sharp knife that cuts so easily and quickly that you don’t realize you have been cut until you start bleeding. The subtle kind is far more dangerous in my opinion as it degrading and erodes your self esteem without you even being aware of it ~ until it’s too late. I have experienced both.
The second thing that I would like to make you aware of is that as a business woman I have learned that if you know how to “play the game” you can play to win. In the case of emotional abuse with a marriage partner, it is like war- no one wins and there are only casualties and more casualties. It becomes more and more about damage control.
It really doesn’t matter how cunning you are, how tough you are, or how much you think you can outsmart the other person (being the abuser). In this case the game plan runs in a cycle, and for you (the one being abused) there are no rules of engagement in which you will win. EVER! If you are reading this and saying that is not true I encourage you to re-evaluate and think of a single time where you did “win” and it lasted.
The game plan as it were is called the cycle of abuse. For more information on how to identify this cycle or pattern click here, or enter this link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cycle_of_abuse in your browser.
Tomorrow I will share more about how I became aware of the abuse and how that played on me as a person. Like I mentioned yesterday this is not going to be pretty to start, but I encourage you to join me if any of this resonates with you. This is my path, my walk of faith, and today I stand a much wiser and healthier woman. If this reminds you of anyone you know who is looking for answers or just needs understanding and support – please pass the link, or email, if you receive it that way, to them. This is for you, this is for them, this is for anyone who is or ever has suffered emotional abuse. It is a terrible crime for which, at present, there seems to be no legal recourse. So the only way I know – is the way out. I encourage you – if you are presently in an emotionally abusive marriage or living situation – to seek help and be safe. I will share more about where and when I turned for help and how that went for me. Again, please be safe and wise in your choices. If you feel your are in danger – seek help immediately. If you have suffered emotional abuse in the past, or from a parental figure and your are now an adult – stick close and follow along because I will cover that as well.
To read yesterdays post click here
A little foreshadowing ~ what i have found to be the most interesting about my journey is that the emotional abuse I suffered as an adult started long before that, and I have discovered several layers that go farther and deeper that I ever imagined.
It is time for us to rise out of the darkness and into the light. This is my journey. May it bring you peace, and hope on your own journey, and as always make wise and safe choices.
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