Day 8: Setting Goals.
It depends on what stage you are in for recognition of where you are in setting goals for reclaiming your emotional health.
Things to consider:
- If you are still in the stage of acceptance that you are being emotionally abused consider how often you feel good about yourself, your future, or your current state of being. I found myself year after year crying before every holiday because I did not have enough money to fund the holiday being a full time stay at home Mom and having no access for “family money” because it was kept locked up. I had not yet accepted that my husband would never stop lying to me about finances, that he would never be honest with me about how much money he made, or that he would not go for counseling – because there was nothing wrong, or that he would not do anything more than he saw necessary to do. If you are still grappling with acceptance set a goal to research emotional abuse and see how much your head nods when you read it, or how many tears you have to hold back because you know what you are reading is about you. Be safe and I encourage you to use a public library to do your research, or some where other than your residence or a mutual computer. Remember that abusers like to keep things quiet, and hidden. They are also sneaky and like to check up on you.
- If you are in the stage of “now what” I encourage you to seek professional help, a counselor, a battered women’s shelter, etc. If you are unsure it has been my experience that the resource librarian has information on places in the community for help. It has also been my experience that battered women’s shelters offer help even when you are not ready to leave. They can give you resources and information to assist you in your process. If you are a battered male – check these resources as well. Ask them about their confidentiality policy. Set a goal to reach out.
- If you have already chosen to leave, or have left, set a goal to know what you need. You have for so long taken into account what the abuser wanted, or told you that you wanted – that you have forgotten what you need. Start with the obvious: a place to live, money, items of importance, a job, etc. The abuser will often try to talk you out of all kinds of things, or promise you all kinds of things to keep the play going even if you have left. Take some time to check in with yourself and see what you need. Make a list and use it to evaluate your needs before you agree to anything. Above all seek professional help with this step: a lawyer, a mediator, etc.
- If you are an adult who lived through emotionally abusive parents set a goal research the signs of emotional abuse and see how much you can relate to with either parent or both. I encourage you to work through the layers of emotional energy and release what you can and change your life to a healthier inner state. Remember you are a Divine aspect of the Creator Source of All capable of healing.
Above all remember to be safe. You know your situation best, and you are responsible for the action you either take or do not take. Make wise choices. Let me assure you that from experience SPIRIT / God will always give you what you need as you walk boldly forward in faith. Ask for what you need, and remain watchful for it – it will come.
Remember that everything is energy and energy can be shifted at the spirit level consciousness and assist you in decreasing the amount of time it takes to work through and shed emotional abuse energy. One of the additional tools that I use is called Spiritual Response Therapy. It is a spiritual tool designed to connect with energy, and shift it with expedience. It can help each person identify and release the old energy that has been holding you back or creating a stagnant situation.
If you have been struggling with connecting with SPIRIT / God or are feeling blocked in your ability to leave an emotionally abusive relationship here is the link to my on line appointment book https://toolsofenergy.appointy.com/. I will facilitate Spiritual Response Therapy to assist you in clearing negative energy.
We will work together to discover your blocks, clear the energy around them, and replace them with new energy and new understanding.
What do you mean energy? And what does it mean to clear and replace energy? Here is a way to think about it. If your shoulders are stiff from stress and you seek out a massage to release the tension – what happens? Ideally the massage therapist releases the stress, and you gain the lasting benefit. What really happens? The reason we created the stress in the first place is not addressed and we end up recreating it. We again experience the stiff shoulders and seek out the massage therapist. By clearing the energy and educating the conscious mind you can experience an energetic shift and create new experiences. I.E. lessen the stress!
To read yesterdays post click here. To Start with Day One Click here.
It is time for us to rise out of the darkness and into the light. This is my journey. May it bring you peace, and hope on your own journey, and as always make wise and safe choices.
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Big Hug,
Deanna