Today, I am addressing the “need to seek validation” in your life as a highly sensitive person. Ask yourself this:
What would happen if you stopped seeking validation from others, accepted yourself as a intelligent and competent person? Would this prevent other people from liking you? Would it cause people to abruptly stop being your friend or significant other?
Deep down inside you may struggle to answer these question honestly with yourself. You see anyone who has suffered trauma at the hand of narcissistic personality disordered person has been taught to seek validation from outside yourself. It is a form of control.
If you find yourself lingering in self doubt, being indecisive until you have cleared your decision with others, or need validation from another person, then you have most likely experienced a trauma bond.
If your anything like me, you experienced this kind of bonding in place of the natural loving bond between parents and children. The trauma bond is especially debilitating if this bond is created between the matron of the family and the child. The child learns that it is not supported in making any decision independently, and must heavily rely on the approval of it’s mother. This establishes the mother as the center of control of emotions and distorted self value.
During the course of this kind of relationship a highly sensitive person will begin to develop their sensitivities with a distorted view of others and how to respond to the energies they are sensing. This renders the sensitive powerless and incapable of separating their feelings from that of others. This creates an extremely toxic need for validation from others during their adult lives.
Many of my clients struggle in business, long term romantic relationships, and physical heal because of the unrecognized patterns of the trauma bond in early childhood. If you are struggling with the need for validation from others take a moment right now and select a time for you to feel heard, and maybe even for the first time.
As you become more aware of why you are experiencing the deep need for validation from others, the potential for healing and creating safe boundaries becomes possible. It is time for you to take the first step now and begin the road toward the life you have always wanted. The guilt free life, the self acceptance life, the I matter life. I am here for you. Click right here to grab your time with me, this one is on me (no charge), I will see you soon.
Here are a few quick tips to get your started right away.